i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
