She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
