You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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