She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
