the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize