he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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