Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
