I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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