the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Green mimosas i think yes
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
