I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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