Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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