And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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