Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
