So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
