The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
