why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
