doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
