id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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