Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
