found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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