Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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