Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is Oprah even human
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
