so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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