So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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