i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You made out with two different species that night
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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