I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
