Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You don't make any sense
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