I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
third nipple confirmed
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
