Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
