Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
