Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dear god my vagina.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
