Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
