on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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