am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
