the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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