Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
