That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
