Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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