I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize