you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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