Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All the doctor said was why
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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