Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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