im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
