i was born a porn star she said
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Help. Why am I so naked?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
