Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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