Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
