this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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