You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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