this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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