Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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