He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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