We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
