how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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