Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
