Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
