I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
