Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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