dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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