he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
