break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
