Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
