Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
