We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
