I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
