I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
